1 Year Later: The What If Factor – Reflections on Growth & Transformation
Dear Readers and Supporters of The What If Factor: Living Beyond The Question Mark,
As we approach the first anniversary of “The What If Factor: Living Beyond The Question Mark,” I find myself reflecting deeply on the journey we’ve embarked on together. This past year has been one of growth—filled with both victories and challenges. Writing this book helped me move beyond the question marks in my life, yet I want to be candid: some regrets still linger. It would be dishonest to pretend otherwise, especially when so many of you have trusted me with your stories of fear, regret, and triumph. Your vulnerability has been a powerful gift, and I feel a profound responsibility to honor that trust.
From the beginning, this endeavor has never been about book sales—it’s about transformation. Your transformation. My transformation. And embracing the path that God has designed for each of us. The stories you’ve shared have been both humbling and inspiring, and your continued engagement has motivated me in ways I never anticipated. Every message, every conversation, and every experience you’ve shared has reminded me that we’re in this together—navigating life’s uncertainties, seeking purpose, and striving for something better.
If you’ve read Chapter 8, you already know that 2020 was a challenging year for me. Initially, I struggled to reclaim the version of myself I knew before the world, my world changed. The pandemic brought a whirlwind of disruptions and losses, leaving many of us feeling disoriented and disconnected. But I eventually realized that the goal wasn’t just about restoration—it was also about evolution. As the saying goes, you can’t pour new wine into old wineskins. While I wish I could have learned this lesson in other ways, life does not work that way. I realized that growth often requires releasing the past and welcoming the unknown. I had to learn to pivot, adapt, and find strength in my vulnerability.
The values my family instilled in me from a young age have been a constant guide throughout this journey. I was taught the importance of diligence, education, and treating others with respect. I learned the value of integrity—doing what’s right, even when it’s hard—and to pursue opportunities rather than waiting for handouts. Above all, I learned to lean on God’s Will, trusting that with faith and hard work, greatness cannot always elude us. These values have shaped my path, helping me stay focused on what truly matters, especially in moments of uncertainty.
Yet, there’s a truth I wrestle with—a deep, persistent feeling that I’ve fallen short of my potential.
We all have ambitions that whisper of audacity. But I say to you, true greatness lies not merely in the art of dreaming but in the courageous act of transforming those dreams into reality. Even as life’s clamor attempts to drown out those whispers, causing us to momentarily lose sight of our aspirations. One of my ambitions was to make my mother proud by handing her the keys to her dream house, paid in full. But tragically, she would depart this world before I could ever make that a reality. Another was to reach the pinnacle of education, becoming one of the most influential college/university presidents of the modern era.
While I’ve earned recognition at the local, state, and national levels for my contributions to education, I’ve yet to break into the “c-suite” or secure the role of an administrative fellow to aid in advancing my goals. Like an athlete, I continue to sharpen my skills and stay at the top of my game, but the sense of falling short weighs on me. I’ve wrestled with discouragement, questioning whether all my efforts were in vain. I began to wonder: was I placed on this earth not to fulfill my dreams but to empower others to achieve theirs?
And then, a revelation came. Two truths can coexist: I am indeed called to empower others, but God also has a plan for my personal growth and fulfillment. Like yours, I realized my path includes a wilderness season—a time of refining and preparation. This journey isn’t over. I know now that if I keep my eyes forward, remember the lessons instilled in me, and remain open to each opportunity, I’ll reach my place of destiny.
You see, I was so ensnared in the undertow of my own anxieties that I was unable to surface and see the shoreline of love and support that always surrounded me. I failed to focus on what was true: my mother was eternally proud of me and always acted as my biggest cheerleader. So much so that I was taken back to a memory from undergrad when I decided to go away to school and had an unmet portion of my tuition. I didn’t know it then, but my mother allowed her vehicle to be repossessed so that she could pay the difference between the cost of attendance and what my scholarships covered.
This broke my heart immensely and brought me to tears. She simply said investing in the dreams of her children was far more important than material things. The love of a mother is the closest thing we can experience to the love of God.
Today, I stand enveloped in the radiant legacy she left behind. Each breath I take is a testament to her love; each step I make is a tribute to her strength. Before me unfolds an endless expanse of blank pages, a canvas awaiting the continuation of my story. With every word I write, every stroke of my pen, I create a masterpiece woven from the threads of her spirit and my own, empowered by God Almighty.
I am fully confident that this tapestry—vibrant and ever-evolving—will forever be intertwined with the lives I touch, leaving an imprint of love, resilience, and hope.
And know this, dear reader: the same boundless potential resides within you. Your story is waiting to be written, your masterpiece yearning to be born. So, wherever you are in your journey, know you’re not alone. If you keep moving forward, step by step, your “what if” will turn into “what’s next.” Overcoming regret and learning from your mistakes is part of the personal evolution and psychological growth we all must go through. With self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-compassion, you can make positive changes and experience emotional growth.
Remember, temporary pleasure often leads to a lifetime of regret, so strive to make wise decisions and life choices that align with your values and purpose. Embrace self-improvement, practice self-forgiveness for past regrets, and cultivate the emotional intelligence to navigate life’s challenges. True happiness comes from living authentically and making a positive impact in the world.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me. Together, we’re living beyond the question mark.
With gratitude and hope,
